My grudge against Mother Nature

We’ve had three days in a row of sunshine and temps over 60 degrees…spring is here in the Pacific Northwest! The daffodils and crocuses are blooming, the tulips aren’t far behind them, and even the roses are starting to put out leaves. How lovely, you’re possibly thinking. Well…yeah, it is nice to see the flowers and greenery after a gray winter, but the harsh reality is that, about the time those flowers fade, the weedy green stuff that fills the rest of my yard will be knee-high and, even worse, cat shedding season starts.

2011-07-25 11.39.26

I call this one “A kitty yin yang thang”

I pretty much gave up mowing my lawn a few years ago. It just doesn’t suit me, and my back doesn’t like it one bit. I save all my strength for brushing these two shedding machines and for vacuuming every 15 minutes during the warm months…it’s a curse, but well worth it once I see these two critters being so damn cute.

These days I usually just give in and pay someone to mow my lawn and trim my roses. I really did try to do the gardening thing for a while, but it just made me crabby and dirty, and I think I’ve made it pretty clear that dirt is not my thing.

And beyond that, I’ve actually had a grudge against roses in general since I was 5. I was on the playground in kindergarten and decided that I wanted to learn to skip (no, you’re not necessarily born knowing how to do it). I tried and failed for about 20 minutes…maybe Mama was right about me being a klutz? I finally got going and was so proud and excited! Well, at least until I decided that I didn’t know how to stop…I mean, I’d learned to skip, but I’d never tried stopping before (gee Tammy…over-think things much?!) I just kept going, gathering momentum, and before I knew it I’d gleefully skipped right into a big old rose-bush! I emerged, covered in bloody scratches, my dress torn and stained, a welling hatred of all thorny things building with every step. I like to think that I raised my 5-year-old fist to the heavens, shouting, “Curse you, Mother Nature…I’ll never be scratched again!!!” but I’m pretty sure I just stood there with tears running down my face while the other kids snickered at me.

So yeah, rose bushes are pretty, and I do live in Portland, the City of Roses, but anything on my list of arch nemeses just doesn’t get a lot of tending to. We have an arrangement – I leave nature alone, and it just sits there and looks pretty. I’ll vacuum and do all manner of inside chores, but I look at the yard like it’s a foreign land, filled with weedy jungles, mysterious plant life and thorns….lots of THORNS. I won’t be bloodied again, I tell you!

I think this e-card pretty much sums up my attitude about yard work…

Swiffer mower

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4 responses to “My grudge against Mother Nature

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