Don’t send me to a damn desert island without mascara

desertThis post is in response to a prompt for the five items I couldn’t live without on a deserted island. Like many of the other posts I read, my first thoughts included things relating to food (a fishing rod or pile of freeze-dried meals), protection or tools (machete, Swiss army knife), companionship (mate or pet), protection from the elements (tarp or tent), and the other things you would need to physically survive. Then there were those who said cell phone…really? What would you do with it, cause you can’t take a signal with you? I can only imagine the selfies….no thanks.

So then I got to thinking…what would really make my life tolerable? Not to just keep me alive, but make it ok to BE alive? Here’s what I came up with:

1. A crate of Pilot G2 gel pens. A BIG crate…black…medium point. (Don’t even think about sending me with those cheap-ass BIC things!)

2. I’m taking my OCD with me, so I’ll need a stockpile of gridded paper. You know, those pads of 8.5×11″ paper filled with light blue gridlines…the ones that you can use to make anything look tidyI’ll need to keep a journal, draw cartoons, write letters that will never be sent, and make an infinite number of lists, so the pile need to be a BIG one.

mascara

They should sell this at REI in the ‘survival tools’

3. A case of mascara with an attached mirror…yes it exists! (See what I did there…it’s only ONE THING.) I figure I won’t need to use it every day, but there will be times when a girl just needs to feel pretty. And what if someone else lucks out and ends up on the island with me? If they’re male, well, I need all the help I can get. If they’re not, then the odds are in their favor that they’ll have eyelashes that can be seen (unlike my super blonde, almost clear ones). If there’s an island beauty contest I refuse to be the loser without at least putting up a fight!

4. An amazingly huge pile of crossword puzzle books. NOTE: I will need the pile of aforementioned gridded paper to be larger than the pile of puzzle books, so that when these run out I can make my own crosswords. (I figure multiple uses for items is important on this excursion.)

5. A few oil drums filled with OLIVE OIL. I’m going to assume that I can make fire (I mean, I’ve only watched about a million of those survival reality TV shows), and any fish that I do happen to have will taste much better cooked with a little grease on em. I could also use it for hair conditioner, and to keep my skin soft. I’m sure that there are other uses that will occur to me…ahem.

I guess the takeaways from this exercise are that yes, I really am as shallow as I was afraid I was, and I seem to be quite easily entertained. Since being stuck on an island with tons of paper and pens is probably the only way I’m really going to write that book I’ve been threatening, maybe it would actually be a good thing. And then I could read it….more multi-purposing!

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5 responses to “Don’t send me to a damn desert island without mascara

  1. Pingback: Five items | Life as a country bumpkin...not a city girl

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