Oh Roku…I wish I could quit you…

There once was a time when I actually left the house at will. I went out for dinner…met friends for drinks…even went shopping for the fun of it. No longer. Oh, those were the days. I now have the Netflix…thanks a lot, Roku.

I bought the little black box that streams shows from the internet about five months ago and, once I plugged it in and got my bearings, it was GAME ON. Here’s what I’ve learned from the past five months of binge watching:

Downton Abbey (23 episodes)

  • I would never have made it in post-Edwardian England…they had no suitable blonde hair dye, and you never got to show any cleavage.
  • In life, the help are usually much more interesting than the bosses.
  • Rich people apparently never run out of things to bitch about.
  • If you think things are going well in life, just wait…it’ll get worse…I promise.

Breaking Bad (47 episodes)

  • If I ever find myself married to a meth cook, I won’t be nearly as whiny as Skyler.
  • If I ever find myself partners with a meth cook, I won’t be nearly as whiny as Jesse.
  • Like most everyone else, I think I now know how to cook a batch. Thanks a lot, Walt.

The West Wing (60 episodes…so far)

  • I believe that I could totally find my way around the White House…I might even be able to lead a decent tour.
  • I wish Martin Sheen was really the president.
  • Rob Lowe never ages.

Rescue Me (93 episodes)

  • Fire is bad, and alcohol makes it worse.
  • Denis Leary is hilarious, but why does everyone think he’s hot?
  • 93 episodes was enough.

Grey’s Anatomy (63 episodes)

  • If doctors are really as promiscuous (and sneaky) as these folks, I’m glad they have to wear rubber gloves.
  • First person narrative is great…until it’s not.
  • Dr. House could whip these yay-hoos without his cane…especially Dr. McDreamy.

Brothers and Sisters (70 episodes so far)

  • I would strangle Sally Field if she were my mother (I’d leave her alone if she were my Forrest Gump mother).
  • Calista Flockhart at her “heavy” 108 lbs. is still scary-looking.
  • Rich people apparently never run out of things to bitch about.
  • Rob Lowe never ages.

General Observations:

  • My butt has convinced me that my couch is a piece of shit.
  • You cannot binge watch Walking Dead…I tried.
  • If I had been a housewife in the 1960’s, I would have had to watch ‘my stories’ while ironing.
  • Rob Lowe really doesn’t age, and he’s rich, so I’m guessing he bitches a lot in real life.
  • If there’s such as thing a NetFlixaholics Anonymous…I need to know about it…STAT!
Oh rob 2

Rob at 37…Rob at 48 (last year). See?

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2 responses to “Oh Roku…I wish I could quit you…

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